Premarital Counseling

We started our Premarital Counseling and are enjoying it a great deal. We are being counseled by our friend Pastor Issac of Ebenezer Mission Bible Church.  All kind of fun stuff like family, finance, common goals, adoption, where and what city to settle in, finding a home church as a couple to raise your kids in. I would encourage all engaged couples to go through this process together. There are many things that you "already know" about each other but the counseling gets you to go deeper and also to ask those questions you might not have thought about yet.  Our counseling gives a biblical twist on things as well in terms of what God says about marriage and our roles and responsibilities as a couple, as individuals and future parents through the word.  We also took a marriage class that was with a hand full of couples that was fun. But this is a nice intimate time as a couple with the pastor as we get closer to saying I DO to really but things all out on the table on how to move forward in this new union. Fabulous!

Brides told me RSVP can be crazy, I didn't Believe.

I don't know if this is normal or not but when there is a rsvp written in for spots reserved it is not etiquette to change the number to the amount you want right? I guess it is just a wedding issue people run into sometimes. If Obama invited you to a vip event I don't think people would try and change the number he gave. So I'm trying to charge it off as a wedding thing and not people thinking they can just dictate to me whatever and I have to just deal with it. It probably more of an issue for a bride with a small budget and paying for everything as appose to a bride who was given a lump sum from their parents to plan their day. But even so the stress would still be on the bride and parents in that situation when they are trying to stay in budget. It is perfectly normal for folks to think of their selves only and not think of the whole picture of Does the couple have enough money to add the person i am trying to add that does not know the couple? is the seating arrangement loose enough for the couple to move things all around to accommodate the person i am trying to add? Do you realize you are judging the couple for not having enough money to accomodate your extra wants when you own invite is a sacrifice in itself and they though you very special to share their special day
? I have read a lot of bride blogs and this issue keeps coming up so it is keeping me calm. Folks have even gotten upset at the family and brides in these blogs as well as in my situation. It is really an interesting phenomenon how folks can get mean during such a happy occasions for the couples to be. But brides we just have to stay calm and keep the focus on the fact that the Ultimate Goal is to walk down that aisle and say I Do to the man of your dreams before GOD. Nothing can stop that from happening. If only I was a trust fund baby, I could invite everyone who has ever been in my life, folks woudn't give major attitude and all would be marry?  yeah right! At every level there are bumbs in the road on the wedding planning route. Eye on the prize! God has brought us together and we are starting this new chapter to forever together.

donovanniketa

forever love (Created with @Magisto)

Thank you Notes as Gifts Come in

Great Tip From The Knot.com

'll write thank-you notes as the wedding gifts come in.

Yes, you're busy, but you can always carve out 10 minutes from your schedule to write a thank-you note. So place your stationery box and a big sheet of stamps in the center of your desk and sit down to express your gratitude within 48 hours of a gift coming in. If you wait, your note-writing list will quickly grow to a frightening length, and it'll become that much more intimidating to tackle it. And if you let too much time pass before writing your notes, the gift-giver might wonder if you received the present.

Maid of Honor Duties from The Knot

The maid/matron of honor is part worker bee, part emotional lifeboat. Chosen for your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion qualities, you should also remember that listening to the bride, making her laugh, and offering emotional and logistical support are also part of your honor attendant package. Here's what's expected:

• Lead the bridesmaid troupe. It's the maid/matron of honor's (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure everyone gets their bridesmaid dresses, go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all prewedding parties.
  
• Help shop for dresses (the bride's and the bridesmaids'). And the MOH pays for her own entire wedding outfit (including shoes).
  
• Offer to help the bride with prewedding tasks, from addressing invites to choosing the wedding colors and nodding enthusiastically when she waxes poetic about wedding cake.
  
• Spread the news about where the bride and groom are registered.
• Lend an ear. Whether it's about the planning, the marriage, or the registry china patterns, the MOH should assure the bride that she has someone with whom she can share her thoughts. Even if she seems to dwell on the same subjects repeatedly, the MOH keeps listening.

• Host or cohost a bridal shower for the bride. 

• Attend all prewedding parties.
  
• Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate a bridesmaid to handle this).
  
• Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids.
• Help with day of duties and keep the bride calm
• help organize day of schedule and make sure gifts and cards get back safely

Invitations/Guest List

What to do when you can only invite so many people to your wedding? Well we are going to have a send off celebration the weekend before the wedding. We will invite wedding guest as well as all other friends and extended family who we could not invite to the wedding due to budget and venue size.  This way we will still get a chance to celebrate our engagement and wedding with as many of our friends and fam as possible by the end of our Official I do's.  I have heard all kinds of horror stories about church members or co-workers or extended family and friends that you know through your own friends etc... getting mad at the non invite.  Considering I am from LA and having our wedding in Cali our guest list could easily get up to 300. 

Some helpful hints from other brides and blogs about how to get your list down focus on the folks who know the both of you as a couple. Focus on the folks who you can call up on the phone and vise versa in the past year or two.  Try to stick to immediate family and friends who you have been in constant contact with during the course of your relationship.  If that still does not get the list down start thinking about partners, if its a brand spanking new relationship ask you friend if they mind if you could just invite you and not the partner.

All in all it is about the bride and groom and close friends and family witnessing the union.  If it gets all dramatic with people they are steering away from the matter at hand and that is that you two want the moment that will change your life forever to be about the two of you and not other people.  Hopefully our send off celebration will allow the extended friends and family to have fun and feel part of the celebration that is my prayer.