Trip to Solvang for Christmas

Helpful Honda Suprise

The most amazing thing happened to me last week. So a few weeks ago I submitted for a documentary about brides that was posted on lacasting.com.  I made it past the first screening and had an interview on Skype a few days later. From the Skype interview the company narrowed it down to 5 girls to go to newly opened Davids Bridal on Pico and La Cienega.  They also wanted us to bring a family or friend along to try on dresses.  So my cousin and I showed up and casting said it is now a Market Research so just take inventory of the whole experience.  We walked in and they handed us water so that was a plus on our mental check list. They had three dresses waiting for me that were on my bridal profile.  When I got to the last dress which was the runner up dress from a few months ago, why did the helpful Honda girl come out and say "Do you like your dresss because this is random acts of kindness and Honda is buying your wedding dress today" .  I thought is this candid camera, where is ashton is this punked.  I could not believe it, cameras and producers started coming out of dressing rooms and I was made aware this was not a joke Honda was buying my dress today.  I was handed my receipt and the dress will arrive early January. Whoever they pick will also be on a National Honda Commercial which would also be a plus for me, but even if not I am still in shock that they bought my dress on the spot.

Premarital Counseling

We started our Premarital Counseling and are enjoying it a great deal. We are being counseled by our friend Pastor Issac of Ebenezer Mission Bible Church.  All kind of fun stuff like family, finance, common goals, adoption, where and what city to settle in, finding a home church as a couple to raise your kids in. I would encourage all engaged couples to go through this process together. There are many things that you "already know" about each other but the counseling gets you to go deeper and also to ask those questions you might not have thought about yet.  Our counseling gives a biblical twist on things as well in terms of what God says about marriage and our roles and responsibilities as a couple, as individuals and future parents through the word.  We also took a marriage class that was with a hand full of couples that was fun. But this is a nice intimate time as a couple with the pastor as we get closer to saying I DO to really but things all out on the table on how to move forward in this new union. Fabulous!

Brides told me RSVP can be crazy, I didn't Believe.

I don't know if this is normal or not but when there is a rsvp written in for spots reserved it is not etiquette to change the number to the amount you want right? I guess it is just a wedding issue people run into sometimes. If Obama invited you to a vip event I don't think people would try and change the number he gave. So I'm trying to charge it off as a wedding thing and not people thinking they can just dictate to me whatever and I have to just deal with it. It probably more of an issue for a bride with a small budget and paying for everything as appose to a bride who was given a lump sum from their parents to plan their day. But even so the stress would still be on the bride and parents in that situation when they are trying to stay in budget. It is perfectly normal for folks to think of their selves only and not think of the whole picture of Does the couple have enough money to add the person i am trying to add that does not know the couple? is the seating arrangement loose enough for the couple to move things all around to accommodate the person i am trying to add? Do you realize you are judging the couple for not having enough money to accomodate your extra wants when you own invite is a sacrifice in itself and they though you very special to share their special day
? I have read a lot of bride blogs and this issue keeps coming up so it is keeping me calm. Folks have even gotten upset at the family and brides in these blogs as well as in my situation. It is really an interesting phenomenon how folks can get mean during such a happy occasions for the couples to be. But brides we just have to stay calm and keep the focus on the fact that the Ultimate Goal is to walk down that aisle and say I Do to the man of your dreams before GOD. Nothing can stop that from happening. If only I was a trust fund baby, I could invite everyone who has ever been in my life, folks woudn't give major attitude and all would be marry?  yeah right! At every level there are bumbs in the road on the wedding planning route. Eye on the prize! God has brought us together and we are starting this new chapter to forever together.

donovanniketa

forever love (Created with @Magisto)

Thank you Notes as Gifts Come in

Great Tip From The Knot.com

'll write thank-you notes as the wedding gifts come in.

Yes, you're busy, but you can always carve out 10 minutes from your schedule to write a thank-you note. So place your stationery box and a big sheet of stamps in the center of your desk and sit down to express your gratitude within 48 hours of a gift coming in. If you wait, your note-writing list will quickly grow to a frightening length, and it'll become that much more intimidating to tackle it. And if you let too much time pass before writing your notes, the gift-giver might wonder if you received the present.

Maid of Honor Duties from The Knot

The maid/matron of honor is part worker bee, part emotional lifeboat. Chosen for your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion qualities, you should also remember that listening to the bride, making her laugh, and offering emotional and logistical support are also part of your honor attendant package. Here's what's expected:

• Lead the bridesmaid troupe. It's the maid/matron of honor's (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure everyone gets their bridesmaid dresses, go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all prewedding parties.
  
• Help shop for dresses (the bride's and the bridesmaids'). And the MOH pays for her own entire wedding outfit (including shoes).
  
• Offer to help the bride with prewedding tasks, from addressing invites to choosing the wedding colors and nodding enthusiastically when she waxes poetic about wedding cake.
  
• Spread the news about where the bride and groom are registered.
• Lend an ear. Whether it's about the planning, the marriage, or the registry china patterns, the MOH should assure the bride that she has someone with whom she can share her thoughts. Even if she seems to dwell on the same subjects repeatedly, the MOH keeps listening.

• Host or cohost a bridal shower for the bride. 

• Attend all prewedding parties.
  
• Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate a bridesmaid to handle this).
  
• Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids.
• Help with day of duties and keep the bride calm
• help organize day of schedule and make sure gifts and cards get back safely

Invitations/Guest List

What to do when you can only invite so many people to your wedding? Well we are going to have a send off celebration the weekend before the wedding. We will invite wedding guest as well as all other friends and extended family who we could not invite to the wedding due to budget and venue size.  This way we will still get a chance to celebrate our engagement and wedding with as many of our friends and fam as possible by the end of our Official I do's.  I have heard all kinds of horror stories about church members or co-workers or extended family and friends that you know through your own friends etc... getting mad at the non invite.  Considering I am from LA and having our wedding in Cali our guest list could easily get up to 300. 

Some helpful hints from other brides and blogs about how to get your list down focus on the folks who know the both of you as a couple. Focus on the folks who you can call up on the phone and vise versa in the past year or two.  Try to stick to immediate family and friends who you have been in constant contact with during the course of your relationship.  If that still does not get the list down start thinking about partners, if its a brand spanking new relationship ask you friend if they mind if you could just invite you and not the partner.

All in all it is about the bride and groom and close friends and family witnessing the union.  If it gets all dramatic with people they are steering away from the matter at hand and that is that you two want the moment that will change your life forever to be about the two of you and not other people.  Hopefully our send off celebration will allow the extended friends and family to have fun and feel part of the celebration that is my prayer. 

im so glad he changed me ...

creating #hastag for wedding

With social media ruling the world there are many creative ways to get great pictures from your wedding to save for all your days by none other than your guest. With the megapixels that these new smart phones have and photo filter apps you might get a whole slew of professional pictures for FREE. We are still having a photographer but for those brides who don't have anyone def use this method. And there is an instagram app where you can order your pics and cards with your pic and framed pics.  The future makes things so convenient

Here is an article that tells you a few facts about creating the perfect hastag for your wedding.

Be creative – but not too creative
Many couples choose to combine two of the following to create their hashtag: first names, last name, initials, date/year, and wedding location to create their hashtag. Examples include: #susanandjoe, #smithwedding2014, #juliejordannyc, and more. You can also poke fun at your name in your hashtag, but just make sure it’s not too much of an inside joke. Keep it catchy!
Keep it short
You want your wedding hashtag to be easy to remember, so keep yours to around 15 to 20 characters. This might stifle your creativity a bit, but it’s important that your guests actually use your hashtag!
Make sure it works
Avoid including characters other than letters or numbers in your hashtags - no spaces, punctuation or symbols, please! So #n&b2014 won’t work, but #nandb2014 would. Also, your hashtag cannot consist only of numbers on Twitter. It’s a good idea to test out your hashtag before your wedding to make sure it works.
Aim for unique
There are lots of hashtags out there and there is a likelihood that the wedding hashtag you think is totally unique may have been used before. While that’s not a total dealbreaker, you might want to type your ideal hashtag into your favorite social media platforms to make sure it’s not too popular. But if you can be the only ones to use your wedding hashtag, all the better.
Tell your guests
In order for your hashtag to be useful, your guests need to know about it! Post it on your wedding website, include a note in your ceremony programs, and display signs during the reception (check out some creative ideas here!).

Buying first home as a Married Couple

A few tips I found about newly married couples and buying their first home together!

 

Getting ready: If you’re a first-time buyer, you need stability in your career and the desire to commit to living in the same community for five to seven years. Purchasing a home is a lifestyle choice that makes you think about how you like to spend your time and the type of community you want to live in.

Talk with a lender. They can help you understand what you can afford and what mortgage programs best suit your circumstances. They’ll help you to include a deposit, closing costs, home owners insurance, property taxes and other costs associated with purchasing a home.

 

Get a loan PRE-APPROVAL (as opposed to a pre-qualification)! Having already gone through the credit check and paperwork requirements will allow time for any credit fixes needed as well as speed up the process once you’ve entered into escrow.

Choose a Realtor. You can choose a Realtor by asking friends/family for a recommendation, researching online at realtor.com, or visiting some open houses in the area you are looking.

An efficient Realtor will educate of you of what to expect from one another during the process, give you details regarding the current market conditions and possible negotiation issues that may apply to your transaction.

 

Start searching! Keep your budget in mind when searching for homes – you don’t have to spend all that you qualify for; Find an area that suits your needs – do you want a neighborhood association with a lot of amenities? Close to good schools? Rural living?; *Look at new homes and existing homes – new construction is often more expensive, but they may allow you to pick and choose what upgrades and features you want.

 

Fashion for Pre-Wedding Events

So I want to wear white to all of my upcoming pre wedding events. So I have been on the look out for some cute cocktail dresses and other alternative all white fashion.  Bridal Shower, Bachelorette Party, Engagement Party and Rehearsal Champagne Brunch! Looking from funky to conservative.



I am really liking the different looks I have seen with the tutu type tule skirts. For a flirty girls night out on the town

 Then there is the a line fitted dress with the sweetheart neck line good for rehearsal champagne brunchThere is always the classic pant suit. Might be cute for the engagement party

 

 

6 months to go/ Officiant

So the Pastor who is going to marry us is Elder Oscar Owens. He baptized me long ago and I am so glad that he has agreed to marry us.  We have met with him once so far just to catch up and meet Donovan and talk about some of our goals during the engagement process as well as the feel for the wedding.  We want a spiritual feel for the wedding especially since we are not getting married in a church. So there will be a wedding spiritual message, scripture reading as well as a Gospel Choir.

We will have a meeting next week with Oscar Owens to talk more in dept about the ceremony, vows etc...

Cant believe we are getting closer to the day. Six months to go and it has been a blast being engaged.

Alternative ways of getting money for your wedding, outside of saving and family!

Ideas from Cheap-Chic-Weddings website

Moonlighting

If you have the extra time and skills, this may be a way to get money for your wedding!

*Be a personal organizer *Run errands for others *Babysit, house sit *Hold a garage sale *Create and sell your arts & crafts

*Clean houses,clean boats *Be a personal chef *Walk Dogs, dog sit *Be a movie extra *Deliver new vehicles to dealerships

CANT DECIDE ON THE VEIL

My mom loves the traditional Cathedral Veil with the lace trim. This is simular to the one she had for her wedding. I dont mind the long veil just want to make sure it is sheer where you can see my face and my dress. Don't want it to be all about the veil because my dress is ammmaaaazzzzing.

Then there is the plain Cathedral veil.  This one reminds me of a just a glow around the bride. All there is, is you and the dress and the veil is just like a cloud around you as you walk down the aisle. Kinda leaning toward this type a feel. I also saw a plain one like this with random crystals scattered throughout the veil. It is also less expensive and in my budget. At the end of the day it is really just for the walk down the aisle. My mom is going to pull the blusher from my face as soon as I reach my husband to be. Then it will just be a boarder and completely off for the rest of the affair which is more than half of the whole wedding time.

Still going back and forth but I plan to purchase before mid July just so that is one more thing out of the way.

Ran accross and article about sponsored weddings

Was searching the internet today and ran across this article about getting your wedding sponsored. I thought huh, never heard of it. But I have been thinking outside of the box for the this whole process in terms of raising money and saving money for our big day to happen and it has been going well so far. We had one fundraiser and three yard sales which helped up with flower and cake cost.  As far as as sponsor I have only heard folks talk about that for their independent films. Like showing their product in the film for exposure to get a donation of some sort. Anyway here is the article for you brides out there who think this might be an option for you at least for some aspects of the wedding if not the whole thing for those ambitious brides.
_______________________________________________________________________________

THIS ARTICLE IS FROM CAT (PERSONAL FINANCE FREELANCE WRITER)OF BLOND BRIDE BLOG

How to Get Your Wedding Sponsored

The first thing you need to do is work out what elements of your wedding you want sponsored. Consider that you will probably have more luck getting specific parts of the wedding sponsored by relevant businesses – say the catering, photography or flowers – than having the whole thing paid for by one company.

You might be wondering why a business would even be interested in sponsoring a wedding when they can get paid to do the same thing. And it’s true that popular businesses are probably not going to want to sponsor you because they’ve already got enough work on their own.

However, new businesses and businesses looking to break into the wedding market are a perfect target for sponsorship opportunities. They probably don’t have a big marketing budget, but are still looking for a way to gain exposure for their services. If your sponsorship opportunity is targeted enough and can provide them with greater exposure than traditional advertising, then the only cost to them is their time and materials.

You Scratch My Back, I’ll Scratch Yours

Just like any other sponsorship arrangement, businesses that sponsor a wedding want to know that they will get a good return on their dollar. The best way to attract sponsors is to put together an advertising package. This package should outline the exposure or other benefits that the sponsor will receive, what the cost will be, and the expected benefits for them. Remember that the sponsorship arrangement needs to benefit both you and the sponsor for it to work.

The sort of exposure you might provide for the sponsor could include having their logo or business card sent out with the invitations; having their logo on the Order of Ceremony or incorporated into the table decorations, and arranging for the MC to acknowledge them during the speeches.

You’ll also have more luck getting sponsored if you can gain attention for them beyond the day itself. I recommend that you start a blog about your wedding and work on getting plenty of readers and followers before you even start approaching potential sponsors. You need to demonstrate that you are savvy with social media and online marketing and can get maximum exposure.

You should also find a way to make your wedding unique in some. Do you have an interesting story about how you got together? What about any difficulties that you have had to overcome in your lives or relationship? Can you get married in a unique location or incorporate an interesting theme? Local newspapers love covering this sort of thing, and you can use this potential media exposure get sponsors.

Don’t Let it Get Over the Top

Just make sure that your desire for a free wedding doesn’t overshadow the point of the whole day. When every guest is forced to wear a Tom’s Plumbing baseball cap and the bridesmaids dresses are Wendy’s aprons, then you’ve probably gone too far.

Remember that you want your wedding to be memorable for the right reasons, and a giant, floating Duff Beer blimp isn’t most people’s idea of wedding chic.

Have you ever considered getting a wedding or party sponsored?

Photo: FreeDigitalPhotos

- See more at: http://www.budgetblonde.com/2013/09/12/get-your-wedding-sponsored/#sthash.Usd9mCYA.dpuf

Wedding Dress. check.

Yes I picked up my wedding dress today. Had my first fitting and I cried. It was beautiful and I can't wait for our day to come. I do have to loose 5 pounds to fit comfortably in the dress though. So operation get fit continues. Wonderful day with mom. Godmom, aunt, bridesmaid and friend. Then we went to farmers market to eat. Lovely day indeed.

10 things to do night before wedding

Found this great list!
1.Facemask
2.Under eye cream
3. Don't drink
4.Set a bedtime
5.Fall off the radar no social media to build excitement
6.no texting with the husband
7.write a letter to your husband
8. Final meeting with wedding planner
9.check in for honeymoon flight
10.watch a goofy movie with your girls

10 months to go

We are def enjoying our engagement, continuing to learn each other and finding our different common goals for our personal lives and lives as a couple. The journey is fulfilling with him and that is because God as at the center of our lives an I have found that to make a profound difference.

Marriage class

We are in a 13 week marriage group class that has been such a blessing to us. It is focusing on returning to intimacy. There couples in the class at every stage of marriage. Veterans who have been married 30plus years newlyweds and we are the engaged couple. Power to end escalating emotions, remaining equal and not have a dominating relationship are some of the topics we cover. It is a great group class and Family and Unity Church. The marriage class is tagged team by two couples along with a video series leading our discussions. We are going to get premarital counseling as well but this is a nice start.

THE VENUE

So excited to have locked down THE VENUE. Nothing can go forward without that locked down. Once we found our location at The Wedgewood Banquet and Wedding Center we were able to go forward with save the dates and really figure out what is left on our budget to raise money for. Wedgewood is great for the bride who wants a lower budget. They have many different locations but the packages are the same so its just a matter of which location fits your vision. We have picked camerillo which is gorgeous. My prayer is that the weather in February of 2015 is gorgeous as well.

A picture is a thousand words.

Finding Photography and Videography is a huge portion of the wedding I think because it will be what you take away with you to remember for lifetime besides your own memories.  I have found that a lot of people call themselves photographers and videographers but when you look into their portfolio its not the case and you ask yourself you are really charging people $1000 plus.  Our cousin took this pic and I love it too bad he cant be in the wedding and clone himself to be taking pictures at the same time.  I keep searching and The Knot has a load of vendures for me to start searching for. I want the videography portion of the wedding to really tell a story. We are both actors so we want that artistic side to be reflected in the retelling of our day.  There is a company that I am interested in but they are very expensive. What do you hold the dollars on and what do you splurge on? That is the question when you are on a tight budget. Its fun looking through all the options and seeing what other real couples have done with their weddings.

Flowers

    
     So of course our wedding has to be during love month when flowers go up in price for vendures ugh. Also I just happen to love the peony flower which is not the cheapest flower around. I meet with the florist next week. My plan is to lay out my dream look and then work my way backward to see how to acheive the look for less. I have seen a few sites where they play around with baby breath and other greenery that can add as fillers for less flowers so I will see how that will go over with the florist in terms of lowering the money count.  I have also seen fabric added to the equation for outside weddings. We have a gazebo for the ceremony and I think some fabric along with greenery and a few flowers will do the job of creating my country chic theme. A little country a little city chic!

Here are 10 helpful hints I found on Bridal Guide related to saving money with flowers:

1. Use in-season or locally grown flowers. They're a much better value than the flown-in, hothouse varieties.
2. Holidays can affect prices. Around Christmas, Valentine's Day and Mother's Day, general demand for flowers increases, as do their costs. On the other hand, if your wedding is held on a holiday, the church or reception site may already be festively decorated with flowers and lights and you'll need less adornment.
3. Add greenery — such as ivory or ferns — to a bouquet or the chuppah. Greenery looks lush, and you'll find it's less expensive than flowers.
4. Choose larger blooms for your bouquets, like orchids and calla lilies. You'll need fewer of them.
5. Add ribbon or tulle to an arrangement — this sweet, romantic detail will make the arrangement look larger and helps keep your expenditures down.
6. Rent trees to decorate the ceremony and reception sites; they look especially romantic when the branches are woven with masses of tiny white lights.
7. Fill in empty table spots with votives or small potted plants that can also be used as wedding favors.
8. Split the cost of decorating a ceremony site with another couple getting married in your church/synagogue on the same day.
9. Let your ceremony bouquets do double-duty. Most florists can creatively repurpose them into centerpieces on reception tables.
10. Elaborate arrangements mean more of your money is going for the florist's labor than for the flowers themselves.

Money does not grow on trees

This wedding planning is a big business. Flowers to cake to officiant to food to appetizers to lighting to music to Dj to rings to licence to dress to tux to photography to videography.
As soon as a venue hears wedding their eyes get big and the smile stretches from ear to ear. They are all thinking I got her let the games begin. One thing I have found is nothing is concrete there is always room for negotiation. I was able to get $2000 off my venue by negotiation and this was after they told me I missed the promotion this and the last day has come that.
It is important to have a team around you that is full of positive energy and support so you don't go insane. Also I am finding it is good to put planning to the side and enjoy being engaged every now and then.

My Girls

Being the planner I am (can't help it I am my mothers child) I came home and immediately alerted my already chosen wedding party and asked them to by my bridesmaids. Briana Cartwright my friend of over 20 years is my maid of honor. We met in performing arts school and later was in a girls group on MCA records back in the day on the label with Chante Moore, Aaron Hall and Damion Hall to name a few. She has gone on to have quite a music career. She is Jack of JDavey. They say there are the love child of prince and erika badu.  My matron of honor is Samara Brown. We met modeling in our early teens. Found out that our moms not only knew each other and went to the same college but my mom had pledged her mom in Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority.  We have been friends ever since.  My two first cousins are bridesmaids Arlene Davis and Tunai Anderson. They both have a few years of marriage under their belt and both have two kids. Tunai just had her little daughter Christmas eve perfect present for the family.  Nedra Mcclyde is another bridesmaid. We met in Grad School at the Actors Studio Drama School in New York. We quickly became friends and roll dogs from the first week of school. Awe the memories of class, 40/40 club, walking blocks after block , avenue after avenue to get to whatever dance adventure and auditions.  Malaika Billups, Morgan Cox and Saunrica London had been my girls since high school. We have had many memories of families in alliance, a group our parents but together to make sure their children did well in school, drivers ed, prom, dance shows, dance performances at parent functions. Now two are married we went our seperate ways for college but always were able to come back to each other through Los Angeles.

Love my ladies in waiting! They will really help me on this journey and most of them are already married and have kids so they have much knowledge.  So happy they are sharing this moment in time with me. So happy they are going to be by my side when I walk down that aisle to say I Do and become Mrs. Harris.

How We Began

This man right here is exactly who I prayed to God to send me. God does answer prayers. The funny thing about the one finding you is sometimes they are right there under your nose and it just takes you a minute for your eyes to focus. Once your vision clears it hits you like "oh you, you have been there its always been you". From the moment we met we had a chemistry. We were cast as leads in a play and on the first day of rehearsal we were the first actors to arrive so we started talking to each other. Those regular get to know you chit chat "where are you from" "how long have you been acting" "how did you hear about this play" yada yada yada lol. We just clicked as friends and were each other help mates during the process of the play. We were both talking to people not in committed relationships but entertaining the thought with other people.
My mother was very sick and in and out of the hospital at the time and he was there for me during my mourning or "this is so hard" moments. He watched as I took on the new responsibility of caregiver, nurse, phycologist and doctor in 2009. My mothers old house had major water damage that put us in residents inn. I had a diabetic epidsode one day when I was by myself and for some reason I just called him to take me to the hospital. It was then that I was really starting to think "I like this guy". But I waited on him to pursue.  I waited on him to see if he liked me back. Turns out he did and we have been best of friends ever since. The friendship first is what really makes our growing relationship strong.  Fast foward 2 years from 2011 when we became boyfriend and girlfriend feb 25th 2011 to be exact and he has decided to ask for my hand in marriage.

November 8, 2013 in Santa Cruz, California Donovan Harris asked for me Niketa Calame to be his wife. He asked me to marry him and I said yes. We were in Santa Cruz for an UCSC alumni event where I was teaching a drama class and it happened to be my bday weekend. We did a roadtrip instead of flying down which was fun. When we arrived in Santa Cruz we checked into our hotel that overlooked the ocean and the wheather was beautiful.  I thought this is the beginnign of the perfect bday weekend little did I know what was in store.  He had been talking about Natural Bridges a state beach I had told him about that had these natural rock formations that looked like bridges on the water. So we changed and headed out to the beach. When we got there he was a little taken back by the amount of sand he had to walk through to get  to the rock he wanted us to climb. My country boy was acting all city and my city girl instincts left me and I took off my shoes and dove into the sandy beach. We made it to the beach and climbed the rock. I was taking pictures and when I turned round he was on his knee. I was in shock I started laughing and said "are you serious" afterward i was thinking "no he is just playing on his knee has a ring out in front  of you face for nothing"  I then realized what was happening and I said yes. We kissed he put the ring on and it was official, I was know his fiance.

WHICH LEADS US TO THIS BLOG HEADING DOWN THE ROAD TO MARRIAGE!